A friends-with-benefits relationship is one in which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet they’re not committed to each other in any way. It’s a situation where two friends or acquaintances have a strictly sexual relationship, with no strings attached to consensual, casual sex. Essentially, a friend-with-benefits relationship means sex without commitment, emotional connection, or, sometimes, respect for one another. The term is used quite often by people in their twenties looking to explore their sexuality without having to handle any other person’s feelings. These types of relationships have little to do with friendship.
Friends With Benefits for sure can be tricky to navigate and if boundaries are blurred and rules are not set up, to begin with, things turn complicated very quickly. Here is some advice and a bucket heap of tips when considering or looking for a friend with a benefit or FWB relationship. One of the most often asked questions is if it is a good thing. It kind of depends on the people involved but if the people involved are on the same page, it can be considered a healthy thing.
Rule number would have to be that you must keep it within the bedroom. You guys may have a great physical connection and you will naturally feel an urge to spend more time with them and to do more couple of things. For example, maybe you suggest going to watch a movie together or even a dinner date. This takes things from friends with benefits to casually dating and must be completely avoided.
Don’t get upset when they meet someone else. Remember that this person is just your Friend with Benefits, they’re not your partner. So, you do need to stop reserving your heart space for them. This person is allowed to date other people, they are allowed to have another FWB and meet up with others. So, if you do feel some jealousy, it might show that you have caught feelings. Also, remember that you are allowed to go and date people and meet other people too.
Another major tip would be to avoid emotional attachment. You must be aware to do this before even you consider an FWB. This means don’t leave a spare change of clothes at their house or don’t nag at them if they cancel on you for hanging out with someone else. Doing all this kind of blurs the boundaries between something physical and something very emotionally invested. You are not in a relationship situation, so you don’t get a say in how they conduct their life.
Always remember what an FWB is. It’s not a full-blown relationship where you buy them gifts on their birthdays and neither you’re expected to. The person that you decide to spend your time with within the FWB relationship is someone which whom you’re having a casual physical relationship, with the added benefit of some form of conversation. So don’t be expecting emotional supporting conversations.
Make your rules and your boundaries clear. You need to make sure you lay down the ground rules before anything starts getting steamy. Make sure consent is not ignored and that you’re both kind to each other.
One of the most important things is to be ready to move on. FWB does not last forever and just knowing when things are coming to an end saves a lot of time and a potential break. So, you need to be aware of your feeling and theirs. As soon as things turn in a way that you don’t want, or you suspect someone is falling for you, you need to be able to pull the plug because it’s not fair to lead someone on.
There is no time constraint on when an FWB may last. It could be that you guys are very able to emotionally detach from each other, enjoy the moment and you have a thing going for years but you must be very aware of when things start to get a bit more relationship-like. So, the rule with FWB is to keep all these rules in your head. You must always analyze where things are going. If you feel like someone is falling for you and you don’t feel the same, then you must speak up (and again it goes both ways).
Sometimes FWB does naturally fall into relationships. However, you cannot start a fling with someone in the hopes that they will eventually fall for you. If you do this, you may end up getting severely hurt. So, make you know and understand what an FWB is before you start an FWB situation ship.
So, make sure you’re always getting your needs met whether that includes being polite, being kind and listening to you, giving you what you want, or being able to speak up. Just enjoy yourself and let go. Keep in mind all these tips and you’ll have a successful FWB.