Sex is one of the most widely used terms nowadays. We all have different fetishes about sex and how to perform it. But do we discuss them freely? Or is it fine to say “NO” to your partner whenever you do not want to have sex? We all talk about sex and the pleasures it gave to our partners and us but we do not think about the issues and problems pertinent to sex. And this gave rise to various misconceptions and myths about having sex. You can hardly talk about this to your parents and school education finds every way to eliminate sex education. We are asked not to talk about this openly because talks like this spread obscenity and hence should be avoided. But what is obscene talking about our own body?
What is SEX?
Sex is an intimate relationship between two partners where they explore each other’s bodies and try to find diverse ways of pleasuring their partner. It includes penetration and is a very personal feeling between two mates. Sex offers companionship and intimacy to the partners. It allows two bodies to interact both emotionally and physically. So, both the partners must be comfortable with each other to avoid hindrances in their act of pleasure
True feelings should be expressed in sexual intercourse because it is more of a matter of thrill and delight and less robotic and automated. Hence, it is particularly important to talk about your inner desires openly to your partner to maintain the same level of excitement every time you get intimate with each other. But not every time the excitement remains the same and sometimes, we do not want to do it. The demands of a partner can vary from time to time that can affect the confidence and performance of the other partner.
Sexual life also has distinct phases and issues can occur at any stage and we should not feel shameful about them. They can be seen in both males and females. Sexual dysfunction can occur at any stage of the sexual response cycle which includes excitement, pleasure, orgasm, and resolution. It can occur at any of these phases and restraint a partner from having satisfaction while performing sex. These dysfunctions can affect the sexual life immensely which can lead to the loss of confidence in a partner. This can occur in both male and female partners and can be treated if discussed at the right time without any shame.
Problems that can affect sexual life
- Erectile dysfunction – This occurs in a male partner when they are unable to get or maintain an erection during sex. Without an erection, a male partner cannot perform the task of sex. If this happens frequently while having sex then this can affect the confidence of the partner.
- Ejaculation- This issue also occurs in male partners when they are unable to control the timing of ejaculation.
- Orgasm – This commonly happens in female partners when they are unable to reach orgasm every time, they involve themselves with a male partner. This can be the reason where a male partner might lose interest in the other mate and can affect their relationship both physically and mentally.
- Past relationships – This is one of the biggest factors that can affect sexual life. Not every relationship is a healthy and happy relationship and not every time a person involves only one person. There can be multiple partners a person gets involved with. If they get any fear or trauma from their previous relationship then it can affect their current relationship as well. They would not be able to allow themselves to get open with their partners and will confine themselves in a shell.
- Body shame – Everybody is different and has different body shapes and types. If you do not feel comfortable in your body then how will you allow the other to feel attracted towards you? This is a widespread problem that occurs in both males and females. To have healthy sexual life it is especially important to accept the physical appearance of your mate.
- Lack of knowledge – This would not be wrong to say that we know everything about our partner. The idea of pleasure and the method of achieving varies from person to person. And for that, it is important to talk to your partner about their needs and desires.
Intimacy is something that everyone craves. Everyone wants to feel loved and in need of a safe place. This can only be possible if we learn to understand the desires of our partners. We do not talk about sexual problems because we feel that if we do then we are demeaning ourselves. We will keep filling ourselves with guilt that we are unable to satisfy our partners but will not allow us to openly talk about it. There are ways to cure biological issues in medical sciences but what about the psychological issues. These issues demand conversation with your partner. There is no shame in talking about your body to your partner. Your partner can become your path to regain your confidence and you can maintain a healthy sexual life. Communication of your feelings is the key to developing a healthy relationship.